


Fantasy

by RainforestEcology



Series: hey babe, i'm the dirt under your shoe [2]
Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 16:04:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21018491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainforestEcology/pseuds/RainforestEcology
Summary: What goes on in Atton's head about the Exile.Excerpt:"But recently something had changed. Instead of the usual lustful visions pulled from holoporn, he was having—well, almost innocent ones. Visions of sex, yes, but visions of the type of sex he had never had—"





	Fantasy

Atton had lusted over Meetra since he first saw her on Peragus. And over time, it had become yet another coping mechanism, joining a list that was well over a dozen entries long. Did he feel guilty? For imagining himself taking her in dark corners of the ship or marking her as his—her, this unshakeable beacon of goodness, made a victim only by the jedi and circumstance, the greatest villains in the galaxy barring scum like him—without telling her nothing of him. Of course. But the list of things he felt guilty for was far longer than the list of coping mechanisms. What was the harm in adding one more?

But recently something had changed, shifted. Instead of the usual lustful visions pulled from holoporn, he was having—well, almost innocent ones. Visions of sex, yes, but visions of the type of sex he had never had—from happy morning blowjobs and surprise bedtime coitus to lazy embraces with only the goal of basking in another’s presence and not an orgasm. These visions were pure, as odd as that sounded since he still dreamt of the weight of her breasts and watched her ass when he traveled behind her. These new visions were as discomforting as they were pleasant. He didn’t know where they came from—some weird-ass force connection with Micah? Meetra’s own fantasies? Or the most unlikely source, himself? Deep down he worried they were from the witch, some sort of taunt of a life he could never have.

Atton had skipped this phase in his sexual development, skipping straight from awkward teenage encounters where no one knew what they were doing to quick fucks in the dark. He almost felt a teen again, equally fascinated and frightened with the adult world of sex. He knew, it could not, would not, be for him, but he watched it anyway, drinking it in like a dying man. And as they traveled together and got closer in reality, as he shared his past with her, the visions only grew more intimate.

On the way to Malachor V, he did not dream. He took a sleeping agent to ensure he slept dreamlessly. As accustomed as he had become to these blissful fantasies, he was terrified that stress and the darkness that grew on their approach to the planet would poison his dreams. And he would be forced to watch himself fucking her uncaring, breaking her, and enjoy it. He would not tolerate this.

Then, they were at Malachor V, and she was leaving. She spoke with all of them, finality unstated, then came to him where he stood morose in the cockpit with the lights out.

“Atton.”

“Yeah, beautiful?”

“Would you mind terribly if I were to be selfish for a moment?”

“You, selfish? Is that some force trick that jedi taught you?”

“I’m serious Atton.”

“Of course you are. Be as selfish as you like. I’m a little curious—”

She grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him to her, smashing her lips to his. It was a desperate kiss, and he returned it without thinking, surprised but no less hungry. She relaxed against him and he deepened the kiss. He had not seen them in the dark, but as he cupped her cheek, he felt tears seeping down her jaw.

They broke for air. She took a step back and his hand fell from her face to her hip, resting there lightly. “Sorry,” she said. “I wanted…something to come back to and something to remember.”

He said, “No need to apologize for a kiss like that babe.” What he wanted to say was _You can come back to me, always._

Later; there was the witch. He took one look at the Exile’s friends and reverted straight back to type.

But with Sion, there was more running. They fought and always, there were visions of her in his mind. The feel of her lips, of his fingers in her hair, the weight of her breasts, the shape of her ass, the silk of her labia, and the way she looked in the sun.

After, when Meetra defeated Kreia and exchanged one burden for another, he told her, “You came back to me.”


End file.
